Saturday, January 29, 2011

When We Wait

In the meantime.

Have you ever wondered about that phrase? Separately: in the mean time.

That's my mental picture during times of waiting. They are mean times; often periods filled with impatience, anxiety, and foreboding. Waiting is not anywhere near my list of things I enjoy. Probably because I like control... and a plan. So when I'm stuck "in the meantime", waiting for an answer, or an event, or an outcome, it can become a feeling akin to being set adrift in the open sea with only a small flotation ring.

That's not the way it should be. I know that. I know that. There are a thousand overused cliches dedicated to the purpose of keeping one from sinking in the sea of worry and inactivity while waiting for one thing or another: Stop and smell the roses. Don't wish your life away. Enjoy the moment. Its the little things in life that count. Carpe diem.

So why do I fall back into an attitude of impatient restlessness every time? Lack of faith or trust? Maybe. Probably.

Worship is easy for me—I have so much to be thankful for and am constantly in awe that the creator of the universe longed for my love, and relishes my relationship. And, in the end of all things, I know without a shadow of doubt that Romans 8:28 is true. God will work all things to the good of those who love him, who are the called according to his purpose. But I would be insincerely trite if I didn't acknowledge that in the meantime, the mean times, I often loose sight of that truth.

It's like a previous blog regarding God lighting our path. I want to know the endgame. I want an insider's peek at the grand scheme, the long range goal, the whole plan. Then my sea of uncertainty would be nothing but dried up land, and I could walk forward with calm assurance, in control.

Ahh, but that's the point, isn't it? As much as I want to be in control of my thoughts, my circumstances, my life, my goals, God wants the opposite. It's a battle I hope to lose one day, and in losing I know I will actually have the victory. Who better to give the reins to than the One who is expert in all things?

So today is another attempt to remind myself that the meantime does not have to be mean. It should not be filled with anxiety or impatience. It should be filled with focus, with purpose—doing good and righteous deeds, and giving glory to the one who deserves so much more than our praise.

I hope this will be a reminder that sticks with me for a long while....because chastisement is also not on my list of things I enjoy...but that's another blog topic entirely!

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